5 ways to build your confidence and self-belief

So much of my work as a coach involves helping leaders to feel more confident and believe in themselves and their value. No matter how confident we appear to the outside world, most of us struggle with low confidence and self-belief at times, and as a result we can hold ourselves back from seizing opportunities and putting forward ideas, or we ‘shrink down’ and hold back on what we really want to say, making ourselves less visible because we don’t appreciate our own value.

The good news is that there are things we can do to help ourselves and our colleagues when we experience this.

Here are 5 simple tips and techniques that really work:

Tip #1 - Identify your limiting self-beliefs and reframe them

• When you find yourself having negative thoughts about yourself, such as “I’m not good enough”, challenge the thought. Ask yourself, “ What’s the truth in that?” Find evidence against it and turn it into the positive opposite, for example, “I am good enough because….”

• When you find yourself thinking, “I can’t”, change it into, “How can I ?” or "I can if"

Tip #2 - Quieten your fear

When you find yourself coming up with reasons why you can’t do something, or you're fearful that you’ll get it wrong, ask yourself’ “Is this fact or is this fear talking?” If it is fear, appreciate its positive intention in trying to protect you and say, “Thanks, but I don’t need you right now. I can do this".

Tip #3 - Get a different perspective

Ask yourself, what would your friends and closest colleagues say about you if they were describing you to someone that didn’t know you?

Tip #4 - Reflect on your successes & capture your pride

• Draw a timeline of your life/career over a chosen period and write on it the challenges you’ve overcome and the successes you’ve had.

• Answer the question (in writing!) “What qualities do I have that make me good at what I do?“

• Capture in a notebook your successes, positive feedback and things you are proud of, so that you can use to remind yourself of these whenever you feel a dip in self-belief or self-worth.

Tip #5 - Treat yourself with compassion and kindness

Take your “I am enough because…” points and put them somewhere visible that you can read every day. And when something doesn’t go as you wanted it to, be kind to yourself. Catch the critical voice in your head and instead say to yourself what you would say to someone that you really love.

Don't wait for others to build your confidence or self-belief - do it for yourself.

When it comes from within it is so much more profound and sustainable. Invest in YOU - you are worth it!